The Gazelle

Mark Ro #1 SF/PF University of Illinois

Star comparisons: Corey Brewer, Tayshaun Prince,Andrei Kirilenko. , David Robinson(character/community service), Angelina Jolie(lips), Wilt Chamberlain(with the ladies..haha i keed)

There is a mythical basketball player.  Andre Bargnani calls him la gazzella.  Pau Gasol and Jose Calderon call him la gacela.  Yao Ming calls him deng ling. When he tragically ended Ha Seung Jin’s career by tearing both of his knees up on a killer cross, Jin cried out “young yang”. But to the ballers of PS 111, he is simply known as the gazelle.  He is slender and quick and moves with a grace that is unparalleled.  He is Mark(us) Ro.

The Sports Guy once wrote that the first time he saw David Robinson he knew he was born to play basketball, with his bulging biceps and unparalleled athleticism. The first time I saw Mark Ro, I said to myself: “My goodness, he is born to play (asian church) basketball. ”  We proceeded to then talk about Illinois basketball for four weeks in a row because we are doods who didnt know each other, so we did what guys do. Mark is a superior (asian) athlete.  Tall, quick and nimble, he posses an ideal (asian) basketball player body.  His greatest assests are his height and his long arms, which he uses to be a plus defender in the likes of a corey brewer or an ak 47.  On offense, the gazelle uses his nimble body to make excellent cuts to the basket.  However, his skinny frame does not do well inside the key at ps111,  where a basketball concept called “fouling” does not seem to exist.

While the gazelle’s body is a blessing to his basketball game, it has also a tragic flaw.  Due to his incredibly large and lucious lips, Mark’s body can not intake normal amounts of oxygen that other players can.  As a result, he is often winded after one game.   Mark also suffered from the same chornic injury as Andy5 known as a “finance job”, but rumors have it that he has shaken that bug and the gazelle will be free to wreck terror on the courts of PS 111.  Off the court, Mark has won RWC Man of the year 4 years in a row(a la david robinson) for his community service work. He is a quality teammate who would offer encouragement, but he is often so winded that he can not speak during games.

he's faster on his hands than you are on your feet.

no challenge for a gazelle

Rejecting formal basketball training, Mark instead prefers to train for the KUMITAE

Helping orpahns. Yawn, what else is new?

Recap:

Strengths: tall with long arms which he uses to play good D.  makes good cuts to the basket.  Solid citizen off the court in the mold of a David Robinson.

Weaknesses: no stamina.  irrational love for Houston Rockets, especially Tracy McGrady.  usually diverts primary energy into non basketball activites like eating lunch his small group.  BASURA!

Best ways to defend:  Ask SG members to divert him to lunch.  Run around in circles in order to tire him out.  If all else fails, ask him to go to borders to read.  He will not be able to resist.

the (rwc) sports guy

so partly inspired by the detailing of qiao of gcc ball as well as my desire to become the next sports guy, ive decided to start blogging abt sports as well.  since the actual sports guy(bill simmons) does a great job with the actual nba, i’ll delve into the league that im most in tune with: rwc sunday basketball.  no worries fans, i’m sure espn will find this blog within a matter of days and we’ll be on ESPN no time.  Erin Andrews patrolling the sidelines of ps 111.  i can see it coming ooooh yeah. so for our inagural post, i’ll write up a nice scouting report:

Andy Oh #5   PG, University of Pennsylvania

NBA Comparison: Steve Nash,  Baron Davis(due to large posterior and calves), Brevin Knight

Andy5 burst on the Remnant basketball scene while he was still at GCC when he came to play in the missions tournament, and he has remained a fixture ever since.  He is probably remnant’s only true point guard, often passing up open jumpers to set up his teammates, who then proceed to miss.  In fact, the best way to defend the Andy is to leave his teammates open as he can not resist the assist.  Andy does have a reliable jumper that he shows during crunch time, but experts(jooheon) on the sidelines often wonder why he doesnt shoot more.

While Andy should have a long and prosperous career in RWC ball there are some worrisome roadblocks that he will have to overcome.  His passion for music has often caused conflicts with his basketball pursuits, as he is often seen moving praise equipment during the first game.  Even more worrisome is he is often injured for long stretches of time with a mysterious injury called investment banking.  Only time can tell if this young superstar can overcome this injury and reach his potential at PS 111.

Does Andy have too many interests off the court?

Can he overcome this reoccuring injury???

Recap:

Strengths: True passion for the game, classic point guard with pass first mentality. Calves and buttocks are enormous.  Excellent footwork.

Weaknesses: Unselfish to a fault, passing up open jumpers to set up less competent teammates.  Tries to pick and roll with ppl who dont know how to roll.  Can not shake injury bug.

Best ways to defend: Send fake emails from employer in hopes that he’ll e injured again.  Leave other players open and hope he passes to them.

Just like his idol Steve Nash, working on his footwork via el futbol