hello sports fans!  sorry again for the delay, but this reporter is still enjoying the recent victory of the NEW YORK YANKEES.  we wont be having any commissioner updates this week as he is busy meeting with jimmy rollins who is considering a career change after his abysmal performance and has recently applied to play in RWCBA.  rumor has it that the application is denied.  week 4 of rwcba created history yet again, both good and bad.

week 4 stats:

Game 1: Team Heartbreak (43) – Team Ruckus (30)

Finally, the pre-season sports illustrated curse is over as Team Heartbreak gets its first win of the season.  They were led again by the two-pronged offensive attack of Aaron and Timo, who scored 14 and 11 points respectively. Team Captain Jaemin continues his resurgence with 6 points and 9 rebounds.  when asked how his team finally got off the schnide, jaemin revealed his motivational techniques: “To get ready for the game, I’ll make my team listen to Mariah’s heart breaker and watch jennifer love hewitt’s movie heart breakers.” a team who is truly embracing their identity.  Team Ruckus continues to lie and die by its outside shooting and this week proved to be an off week.

Game 2: Rosen Ones(30) – JUNTAO (12) conceded at halftime.

not much to say here as this game was over before it even began.  Members of the crime-syndicate JUNTAO were too busy with other affairs to play basketball and the team only fielded five players and had to concede at halftime due to injuries. Next week, the Rosen Ones should be tested as they play the hot Fade to Black and JUNTAO should be back to full strength.

Game 3: Fade to Black(48) – Fighting Violets(41) in overtime.

easily the game of the week, this game created several historical landmarks, including the first overtime game in RWCBA history.  It was also the first game altered decisively by fouls as Jon Kim, Paul Lee and Kevin Kim all fouled out.  Coincidentally, some of these players have been accused in the past of violent sports tempers and roid rage.  ben wallace clone Kevin Kim was again given superstar treatment in the 2nd half, prompting accusations of league corruption.   The commissioner’s office chose not to respond to these allegations.  Sam Kwon hit an impressive game tying 3 at the buzzer, propelling this game into overtime.  lets just say he has BIG ONES.  In overtime, however, the fighting violets were not able to overcome the loss of Kevin to fouls, giving up key offensive rebounds.  Fade to Black has bounced back strongly after its opening week loss and next week battles Rosen Ones for the regular season championship.  Will the Fighting Violets ever see Jooho Lee play?

1. Rosen Ones(4-0, next week vs. Fade to Black).  Yankee Comparison: Mariano Rivera.


Right now this team is just going out and getting the job done, much like beloved Yankee Closer Mariano Rivera.   With a win next week, this team can lock up the #1 seed going into the playoffs.  Either way, they are insured of a bye.  Until proven other wise, the favorites to win the championship, but next week’s game against fade to black should prove to be good.

<–For now , no one’s been able to touch this team, especially jimmy rollins.

2. Fade To Black(3-1, next week vs. the Rosen Ones).  Yankee Comparison: Mark Texiera

mark-teixeira-2 A team that has not tasted defeat with their starting squad, Fade to Black remains strong at the number two spot this week despite a scare from team NYU.  While their offense sputters at time, their defensive effort always remains strong much like the most excellent yankee first basemen.  Next week proves to be the biggest game of the regular season when this team faces top seed Rosen Ones for a battle of regular season supremacy.  In other sports news, mark teixiera is said to be in a heated battle with Knicks power foward Danillo Gallinari in the first annual douchebag faced athletes tournament.

<– defense wins championships.  so does money.

3. Team Heartbreak(1-3, next week vs. JUNTAO) Yankee comparison: Alex Rodriguez

alex_rodriguez_home4 A 1-3 team as #3?  Yes, because it seems like this team might finally be reaching its enormous potential.  The previous losses were oh so close, much like Arod’s warning track flyballs in previous playoff years.  hey if arod can be clutch in the playoffs, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!  a team that no one wants to face in the playoffs.  taking various cues from AROD,  jaemin has been dating a washedup kpop movie star to improve his mental attitude, timo has been sailing on a boat around jersey city, and mike oh has recently commissioned a painter to create a halfcentaur/halfman portrait that he can place above his bed.

<—- if this man can come through in the playoffs, then this team can win RWCBA.

4. JUNTAO (2-2, next week vs. Team Heartbreak) Yankee comparison: AJ Burnett

Got pie a team that remains inconsistent due to injuries much like the yankees #2 starter.  the good can be really good, but the bad can be really bad as shown by this past week.  in the end, this team could go all the way or throw out a klunker performance.  no one really knows.  Next week’s matchup against Team HEARTBREAK should also prove to be interesting as it faces a team that many chose as the preseason favorites. which JUNTAO will show up?

<– will JUNTAO be celebrating at the end of the season by pieing each other?  only time will tell.

5. Team Ruckus(1-3, against FIGHTING VIOLETS) Yankee Comparison: Andy Pettite

andy-pettite-yankee A team of RWC veterans, Ruckus is currently living and dying by its outside shooting, much as andy pettite now lives and dies by the effectiveness of his cut fastball.  Everyone knows that these RWC vets are incredibly crafty with a full bag of tricks that can produce a victory at any moment.  Taking cues from andy pettite, john park and captain dan kim have recently called Brian McNamee for some “cream’ that might aid in muscle development and shorten injury recovery time.  With a playoff system thats one and done, no one wants to play team that can light it up from the three point line.

<– RUCKUS, capable of picking you off at any moment, just like this man.

6. Fighting Violets(1-3, against RUCKUS).  Yankee comparison: Johnny Damon

p1.johnny.damon currenlty on a three game losing streak after its initial win, the Fighting Violets still show the scrappiness and toughness that johnny damon does at the plate.  Much like Johnny, they have been battling the injury bug as star pf jooho lee has yet to suit up the game.  however, speaking with this team’s players, they seem to have gotten over the initial disappointment and are now rallying around their loss a la the 99 knicks or the 2008 houston rockets who lost ewing and yao.

<- will battle and battle until they get you.


3 comments so far

  1. joooooo on

    wow so creative, i love it. but who are the yankees?

  2. ray on

    That is the funniest picture of mariano ever

  3. Paul Lee on

    so when’s the next rwcnba post coming out?

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