THIS BLOG IS WHAT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS

hello sports fans!  sorry again for the delay, but this reporter is still enjoying the recent victory of the NEW YORK YANKEES.  we wont be having any commissioner updates this week as he is busy meeting with jimmy rollins who is considering a career change after his abysmal performance and has recently applied to play in RWCBA.  rumor has it that the application is denied.  week 4 of rwcba created history yet again, both good and bad.

week 4 stats:

http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AuUFUFrWrCr7dGdJSnJic0JXUUhaVm9FWS1XOFdJd3c&hl=en

Game 1: Team Heartbreak (43) – Team Ruckus (30)

Finally, the pre-season sports illustrated curse is over as Team Heartbreak gets its first win of the season.  They were led again by the two-pronged offensive attack of Aaron and Timo, who scored 14 and 11 points respectively. Team Captain Jaemin continues his resurgence with 6 points and 9 rebounds.  when asked how his team finally got off the schnide, jaemin revealed his motivational techniques: “To get ready for the game, I’ll make my team listen to Mariah’s heart breaker and watch jennifer love hewitt’s movie heart breakers.” a team who is truly embracing their identity.  Team Ruckus continues to lie and die by its outside shooting and this week proved to be an off week.

Game 2: Rosen Ones(30) – JUNTAO (12) conceded at halftime.

not much to say here as this game was over before it even began.  Members of the crime-syndicate JUNTAO were too busy with other affairs to play basketball and the team only fielded five players and had to concede at halftime due to injuries. Next week, the Rosen Ones should be tested as they play the hot Fade to Black and JUNTAO should be back to full strength.

Game 3: Fade to Black(48) – Fighting Violets(41) in overtime.

easily the game of the week, this game created several historical landmarks, including the first overtime game in RWCBA history.  It was also the first game altered decisively by fouls as Jon Kim, Paul Lee and Kevin Kim all fouled out.  Coincidentally, some of these players have been accused in the past of violent sports tempers and roid rage.  ben wallace clone Kevin Kim was again given superstar treatment in the 2nd half, prompting accusations of league corruption.   The commissioner’s office chose not to respond to these allegations.  Sam Kwon hit an impressive game tying 3 at the buzzer, propelling this game into overtime.  lets just say he has BIG ONES.  In overtime, however, the fighting violets were not able to overcome the loss of Kevin to fouls, giving up key offensive rebounds.  Fade to Black has bounced back strongly after its opening week loss and next week battles Rosen Ones for the regular season championship.  Will the Fighting Violets ever see Jooho Lee play?

POWER POLL:
1. Rosen Ones(4-0, next week vs. Fade to Black).  Yankee Comparison: Mariano Rivera.

Right now this team is just going out and getting the job done, much like beloved Yankee Closer Mariano Rivera.   With a win next week, this team can lock up the #1 seed going into the playoffs.  Either way, they are insured of a bye.  Until proven other wise, the favorites to win the championship, but next week’s game against fade to black should prove to be good.

<–For now , no one’s been able to touch this team, especially jimmy rollins.

2. Fade To Black(3-1, next week vs. the Rosen Ones).  Yankee Comparison: Mark Texiera

A team that has not tasted defeat with their starting squad, Fade to Black remains strong at the number two spot this week despite a scare from team NYU.  While their offense sputters at time, their defensive effort always remains strong much like the most excellent yankee first basemen.  Next week proves to be the biggest game of the regular season when this team faces top seed Rosen Ones for a battle of regular season supremacy.  In other sports news, mark teixiera is said to be in a heated battle with Knicks power foward Danillo Gallinari in the first annual douchebag faced athletes tournament.

<– defense wins championships.  so does money.

3. Team Heartbreak(1-3, next week vs. JUNTAO) Yankee comparison: Alex Rodriguez

A 1-3 team as #3?  Yes, because it seems like this team might finally be reaching its enormous potential.  The previous losses were oh so close, much like Arod’s warning track flyballs in previous playoff years.  hey if arod can be clutch in the playoffs, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!  a team that no one wants to face in the playoffs.  taking various cues from AROD,  jaemin has been dating a washedup kpop movie star to improve his mental attitude, timo has been sailing on a boat around jersey city, and mike oh has recently commissioned a painter to create a halfcentaur/halfman portrait that he can place above his bed.

<—- if this man can come through in the playoffs, then this team can win RWCBA.

4. JUNTAO (2-2, next week vs. Team Heartbreak) Yankee comparison: AJ Burnett

a team that remains inconsistent due to injuries much like the yankees #2 starter.  the good can be really good, but the bad can be really bad as shown by this past week.  in the end, this team could go all the way or throw out a klunker performance.  no one really knows.  Next week’s matchup against Team HEARTBREAK should also prove to be interesting as it faces a team that many chose as the preseason favorites. which JUNTAO will show up?

<– will JUNTAO be celebrating at the end of the season by pieing each other?  only time will tell.

5. Team Ruckus(1-3, against FIGHTING VIOLETS) Yankee Comparison: Andy Pettite

A team of RWC veterans, Ruckus is currently living and dying by its outside shooting, much as andy pettite now lives and dies by the effectiveness of his cut fastball.  Everyone knows that these RWC vets are incredibly crafty with a full bag of tricks that can produce a victory at any moment.  Taking cues from andy pettite, john park and captain dan kim have recently called Brian McNamee for some “cream’ that might aid in muscle development and shorten injury recovery time.  With a playoff system thats one and done, no one wants to play team that can light it up from the three point line.

<– RUCKUS, capable of picking you off at any moment, just like this man.

6. Fighting Violets(1-3, against RUCKUS).  Yankee comparison: Johnny Damon

currenlty on a three game losing streak after its initial win, the Fighting Violets still show the scrappiness and toughness that johnny damon does at the plate.  Much like Johnny, they have been battling the injury bug as star pf jooho lee has yet to suit up the game.  however, speaking with this team’s players, they seem to have gotten over the initial disappointment and are now rallying around their loss a la the 99 knicks or the 2008 houston rockets who lost ewing and yao.

<- will battle and battle until they get you.

hello sports fans!  sorry for the delay, but this reporter has been busy trying to pretend that he is part of the yankees press core so he can get ever closer to derek jeter.  alas, failure.  but no worries, we had another great week of RWCBA and we have an exciting interview with the RWCBA commissioner.  He’s agreed to take time from his busy TV watching schedule to speak with us. here’s the exclusive now:

RWCBA blog: commissioner, thanks for taking time to speak with us.

commish: no problem insignificant blog writer.  RWCBA exists for its 20 fans, so im happy to oblige.

blog: i’m sorry to start our interview this way, but i received an anonymous tip that star kevin kim received teh superstar treatment detailed by tim donaghy here:  http://deadspin.com/5392067/excerpts-from-the-book-the-nba-doesnt-want-you-to-read.  how do you respond to these allegations?

commish: thats just ridiculous.  RWCBA referees are the finest that asian basketball has to offer.  they go through a rigorous training process that puts jcvd’s kumitae training in bloodsport and rocky’s training in rocky IV to shame.  The reffing could not be better.

blog: okay thanks for clearing that up.  are there any truth to rumors that the season will end with a GCCBA vs RWCBA all-star game.  how will this affect RWCBA superstars that came up in the GCCBA ranks.

commish: i can not confirm or deny those rumors as of now.  however, the GCCBA commissioner is quite a dashing fellow.  one of the most eligible chinese-american christian auditor of casinos out there.

blog:  duly noted.   in week 2, you were seen sitting in the prime box seats with star PWC auditor John Park.  Is there any chance of corporate sponsorship coming anytime soon?

commish: I was there simply as a guest and to enjoy the great seats that PWC currently owns at PS 111.  However, we are currently in negotiations for some corporate sponsorship between Mee’s Chinese  Food, Pan Real Thai, Pan Real Thai Encore, Pan Real Thai: Back Again and Pan Real Thai: THATS RIGHT YOURE GONNA EAT THAI THIS WEEK WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.  so i’m gonna say we’re gonna be sponsored by a thai restaurant.  keep your eyes pealed out for the upcoming drunken noodle commercials with timo and ronell.  the subway 5 dollar jingle will have nothing on us.

blog: is it true that youre working for free?

rwcba: its true, but i do it for the fans, so i dont mind.  i will, however, accept any home cooked meals(from girls only).

blog: ok that’s all for now. thakns commish.

rwcba: anytime.

onto the recaps.  week 3 stats here:

http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AuUFUFrWrCr7dGdJSnJic0JXUUhaVm9FWS1XOFdJd3c&hl=en

Game 1: Team Ro-Sen Ones (41) Team heartbreak (39)

Team Hero:

Another heartbreaking loss for Team heartbreak as Team Ro-Sen Ones continues its undefeated romp through RWCBA.  Ronell continues his dominance with 18 pts, 14 rebs, 4 assists, 1 steak, 1 block, and one cheering pui.  ”Thats my Boo!!!!!”  was heard throughout the gym as the chocolate rain came showering down.  The gazelle Mark Ro finally made his RWCBA debut.  Initially, off to a slow 0-5 start from the field, when the Gazelle found that games were being live streamed to australia, his play picked up and he finished with a strong 13 pt 7 reb 3 steal 2 block effort. Team heartbreak finds new and imaginative ways to lose each week, and sports a minuscule 5 point differential in 3 losses.  Timo was strong in defeat with 16 pints and 11 rebounds, and it seems to be only a matter of time before this team’s luck turns around.  Rumor has it that after this game MikeOh was seen using the itune autotune app. “Basketball how could you be so heartlesssssssss”. Team Ro-sen Ones remain the favorites to win season 1 of RWCBA but of course, there is still much basketball to be played.  They do, however, have a strong hold on worst team name.

Game 2: Fade To Black(55) – Ruckus (43)

Team Hero:Andy Oh

A game of swings that saw Ruckus jump out to a 8 point lead in the first half but ended up with Fade to Black ending with a 8 point victory.  Point Guard Andy Oh was rumored to be watching allen iverson tapes this past week, and the effects showed as he finished with a strong 20 points with 0 assists and 4 turnovers.  somewhere, gilbert arenas and devin harris are rejoicing.  Team Ruckus was propelled in the first half by the half human/half robot clintron-3000.  While other teams have complained that having a robot with a chiseled body is unfair, the fact remains that RWCBA remains an experimental league where almost anything goes.  Lamont Chichester propelled a strong defensive effort by Ruckus by taking larceny to new levels with a season(and thus league record) high six steals.  However, lack of flow in the half court offense ultimately ended the Ruckus and ensured that they would fade to black.

Game 3: Juntao(47) – Fighting Violets(35)

Team Hero: Jooheon Yoon

A game that featured a huge swing before tip off when big man Jooho Lee was sidelined another week , delaying his much awaited debut, and Jung Suh decided to play through his ever nagging injury(investment banking).  The Fighting Violets had little answer for Jooheon Yoon who finished with a strong 22 points and 7 rebounds. Juntao was happy to see David Park’s recreational lacross league finally end and have him chip in a strong 12 points while shooting an unbelievable 4 from 4 from the free throw line, thereby raising the abysmal league FT shooting percentage.  The Fighting Violets were shorthanded with only six players, and Ben Shim did his best to keep his team in the hunt with 13 points including three 3 pointers.  This is the second week in a row that Ben’s shooting percentage has risen as he tries to shed his stephen jackson stereotype.  Will week 4 see ben shoot 50%?  Will jooho ever play?  Will Kevin’s body ever stop growing?  Tons of questions surround this team right now.

The Power RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK.

1. Ro-Sen Ones(3-0. next week vs. JUNTAO).  Still undefeated and bolstered by the return of their team captain.  They face a depleted JUNTAO next week so it should be an easy road to 4-0.

2. Fade To Black(2-1. next week vs Fighting Violets) – back to back wins with strong defensive efforts have helped this team rise to number two in the poll.  Still missing a real offensive identity, but no one can deny that this is the best defensive team in the league.

3. JUNTAO(2-1. next week vs. Ro-sen Ones) – the secret crime organization strikes this week for a win.  This team has never seen its intended starting five play together so they still have the potential to improve.  Rumor has it that Ricky Chan is out shooting daddies.

4. Ruckus(1-2, next week vs. Team Heartbreak) – a team that lack size but is proving to be a tough matchup with its unique style.  This team lives and dies with its perimeter shooting which mean it can defeat or be defeated by any team in the league at any moment. Ne

5. Fighting Violets(1-2. next week vs fade to black) – back to back losses after their opening win leave this team with question marks.  when will bigman jooho lee play.  kevin kim was found icing his body after taking another beatdown down low.  there were many bags of ice used.

6. Team Heartbreak (0-3. next week vs Ruckus).  every team makes the playoffs so this teams record doesnt really mean much.  Will this be the week they finally end their schnide?  In other news, Timo is apparently an excellent cook.