THIS BLOG IS WHAT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS

*disclaimer: the following post may come off as insensitive to woman.  if you feel that way, please feel free to email your complaints to hans.cho.spam@gmail.com.  responses may or may not come in a time span ranging from 4 years to never.  thank you!

welcome to november first.  its the first day in history that all 4 major sports(baseball, basketball, football, and WWF…ok hockey) will be playing on the same day.  what a great time to be a fan.  finally, the beloved yankees are back in the world series.  everyone loves playoff sports.  but we all know playoff sports brings out a dangerous creature: the girl sports fan.  many a lady has shown off their EPIC FAIL while trying to support a team, so here are some helpful tips to not piss off all the doods. (right now every yankee and girl philly fan reading this is now wondering this lol.) the obvious question may be why should girls care at all about pissing off doods?  well, we are just asking for this one.  honestly, we dont really care about most things during the year.  but playoff sports creates stress like no other.  even men pound the carbs during playoff sports.  ok so here we go:

1. dont’ bastardize the clothing of your team.

EVEN MARIANO RIVERA CANT SAVE THIS ONE.

Yankee pinstripes are beautiful.  Lakers Sunday White(i begrudingly admit) is beautiful.  Michigan’s blue and gold combo is beautiful.  pink uniforms are not beautiful.  let’s be honest. these are the only clothes most men care about.   dont bastardize them. it does not look cute.  it makes us want to gouge our eyes out.

2. Ask questions at the right time. Guys understand that girls dont understand all the workings of the game, and they are more than happy to answer any questions you have.  but be responsible.  time outs and commercials aren’t just for the teams.  baseball is the easiest sport to ask questions, basketball is the worst.  football is somewhere in the middle.  if you are watching hockey with a group of guys, then either A) you are candian b) you need new guy friends.

as a corollary to this

3. Don’t talk about how exciting the game is every five minutes.  yes we know the game is exciting.  we slaved through a crapload of crappy regular season games to get here.  you dont have to tell us.

4. if you are trying to comment on teams/players, make sure your facts are correct. last year after the hated lakers won the title, i read on facebook:

yessssssss lakers win.  lamar oden is my favorite.!

well lamar oden would also be my favorite because it would mean two of my favorites, lamar odom and greg oden somehow made a lovechild together.  but alas, this was not the case.

5. finally, the most universal rule: do not comment on the physical hotness of the players, especially scrubs.

NO MAN IN THE WORLD CARES ABOUT THIS PERSON. IN OTHER AMAZING NEWS, I SPELLED SASHA VUJACIC CORRECT THE FIRST TIME IN GOOGLING THIS PICTURE. FISTPUMP FTW!

i cant think of anything that is more annoying to the hardcore sports fans then hearing girls comment on how hot certain players are.  this annoyance increases 10000000000X when that player is a super scrub(like super scrub sasha pictured to the right). just please keep these thoughts to yourself.  there are some exceptions to this rule as some guys are so hot that even guys are like, yes he is so freakin hot.  of course, the best example of this is the Yankee Captain Derek Jeter, who is all kinds of delicious sexiness.  other examples are michael jordan, and arguably dwayne wade and tim tebow(both borderline).

so these are some simple guidelines that might help out.  if you are offended by them, i’ll just say “oops i did it again.” but are they really unreasonable?  lets say you were watching sexandcity/twilight/other favorite romantic style movie and this guy was like asking you questions every 5 minutes because he doesn’t understand why girls like vampires, and then he also comments on how freakin hot the girls are.  would you really like that?  i dont thikn so.