THIS BLOG IS WHAT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS

With the upcoming NBA finals including the detestable los angeles lakers, this gets me going about things that just have the most insufferable fans.  as a warning, a lot of this will just come off as complaining.  but who cares cuz its my blog.  WAHOO SUCKA.  now, let’s consider some things that these fan bases have in common:

1. clouded by illogical thinking.  can not be reasoned with.

2.  excessive hubris and sense of entitlement

3.  becomes even more insufferable when clumped with others of their kind.

4. has small legitimate base of true fans, but also lots of bandwagoners when things are going well.

ok here we go(in no particular order):

1. Lakers fans – sorry this group of people are incredibly annoying.  They become even worse for those of us who live on the east coast cuz then you get the double whammy of lakerslakerslakers as well as uhh west coast is so much better than east coast blahblahblah.  if its so much better, why are you here?  just go back! seriously, we wont mind. Also, doesany fanbase have a bigger bandwagon? Is there anyone out there who hasn’t been innundated via facebook/gchatstatus/twitter messages about the lakers from their fans, especially fans who haent said anything all season?  And for some reason, this fanbase also has a large portion of two of my big sports pet peeves: 1. guys who dont know anyting about sports 2. girls who make dumb comments during games and also say things like total scrub like sasha vujajickjfadf is soooo cute.   as a preemptive strike, i will say this fan base is impressive that it may have the most girls who are actually true fans so i salute you.   another big negative for this fan base is they openly support a rapist and a psychopathic candy eater(although i have to admit i would support the rapist if he were a Knick and i love candy).

2. Duke basketball nerds – a long time ago, when the hansbbans was but a wee little totter, he enjoyed watching duke basketball.  but later he realized that this team gets all the calls, and their fans dont know anyting about basketball.  instead they like to jump up and down a lot.  to make matters worse, this team has some of the most detestable players in recent years including gaygay reddick, carlos boozer, the angry drunkard and greg paulus.  The final cherry on top is that this team has a brilliant coach so theyre never out of it.  My hatred for this fan base become infinitely worse after becoming friends with the TECH.

3. yankees fans – sorry if the shoe fits, wear it. its very easy to see why yankee fans are hated.  they watch a game with a twins fan and they say snide remarks like: “”oooh i cant wait for joe mauer to be a free agent”  (i actually said this to somoene just today!) or they’ll remark if zack greinke will be able to handle the pressures of new york with his social anxiety issues.  The complain about their backup catcher situation to fans of the pirates and marlins.   They also have an incredibly polarizing figure to captain their team, the superhunk Derek Jeter!!! OMG DEREK JETER!!!!!!!!!!!!  all he does is get paid millions of dollars to play a sport and go out with the hottest chicks ever.  His list includes:

Mariah Carey(pre-skank pre crazy)

Jordana Brewster(vrooom)

Vanessa Minnillo(hot mtv veejay)

Adrianna Lima

Jessica Alba

Scarlett Johannsen

Jessica Biel

and currently Minka Kelly.

all i can say is wow.  if he’s on your team you love him; if not you hate him and his fans.

4. Twilight lovers – admittedly i dont know that much about twilight, but im tired of hearing about this stupid series.  How can so many girls fall in love with a vampire??? it is mind boggling.   I’m sorry vampires are not real.  go find a real boy friend who can hang out with you duirng the day and can put garlic on his burger.  Right now, a small group of girls is planning how to kill me while remarking how their sensitive boyfriend vampire would never say such jerk things.  oh well.

5. Apple Fanboys – the final group on our list might be the worst.  These people are by far the most difficult to reason with.  By no means do I hate on apple as a company.  their job is to make money, and brand loyalty makes money.  But their fans, for the love, please get a grip. I’m pretty sure if Apple made Apple Toilet Paper(which they could call Donkey to go wiht their animal theme), these fans would buy it.  let’s consider:

A. How can a company get away with saying: hey you’re not smart enough to figure out how to use this product, so lets dumb it down for you and charge you extra monies for it?  Shouldn’t this be incredibly insulting?

B. the reason why these things have no spyware/virus etc isn’t cause they’re superior computer. it’s more like no one really cares about giving a 50 year old grandman a virus.  if apple ever had an actual important marketshare of computers, these things would get lambasted with viruses and spyware.

C. These fans will never kill apple, even when they do retarded things.  Firsgen iphone has no cut and paste?  Are you serious? These are the kinda things that you should get killed for.

D. they recommend apple to everyone without considering circumstances.  Would i ever tell funko to buy an apple? no, cuz A. he has no money B. he knows how to use a computer very well.  C. he has absolutley no monies.  Very simple.

That said, their products are very visually pleasing and there are times where I wish to buy them.  But i liken this to when you see this really fine lady, and youre like oooh that lady is fine, but then she does something craaaaaazy and youre like oooh maybe not.

A special shotout to the TECH, who is a yankee fan, a duke fan, and uses apple products.  Rumor has it that he also likes to dress like the vampire in twilight.

if there’s any fans that are annoying the crap out of you, please feel free to comment!