TUP BAAAAAAABY March 31, 2009
Posted by hansbbans in Uncategorized.13 comments
Kevin Kim, MLB/DE #54 Milburn Senior High School.
No rebounds for you.
Star comparisons:
Clearance Weatherspoon(body type), Jeff Adrien, Julius Peppers(football player playing basketball), Chong Li from bloodsport(CHEST), Gaston from beauty and the beast(CHEST), The Incredible Hulk, Lenny from Of Mice and Men(penchant for cute things despite large size).
The most commonly used phrase during the NFL/NBA draft is tremendous upside potential. It is used to describe players who have just began to scratch the surface of how good they can be on the basketball court. Few players in RWCNBA have the tremendous upside potential of Kevin Kim. Naturally a football player, Kevin has just begun to learn the ins and outs of basketball. He still often reverts back to football mode, especially when there are loose balls to be had and Middle Linebacker Kevin tackles the first person he sees. A truly tenacious competitor, Kevin often scares the crap out of the team with his bouts of anger. Unfortunately, his own teammates are also having the crap scared out of them so the advantage gained by his team is minimal.
While not necessarily the tallest player, Kevin still is an effective post player due to his plus strength and aggression as well as his BARREL CHEST. His body, however, is not without limitations. While his inverted triangle body does well to make the ladies(and some doods) swoon, having chicken legs with a huge top is not the most ideal basketball body. Furthermore, his huge pectoral region often interferes with his shooting motion, reducing his effectiveness from the outside.
Kevin’s improved play on the court, however, has not come without controversy. Other baller in the PS111 cage claim that he is roiding it up with HGH and another anabolic steroids. For evidence, they point to his uncontrollable fits of rage which are often taken out on poor basketballs at the end of losses. When I asked Kevin about these claims, he took his shirt off and shook his pecs at me, a move which he taught to Chong Li and was later used in Bloodsport. After further probing him and asking him if I could inspect his posterior for possible injection marks, he got even madder, turned green and then threw me into a trash cash. Egads, the cost of investigative journalism.
Off the court, Kevin is quite the gentle soul. He enjoys long walks on the beach, playing with babies and watching the extended two disc version of the notebook. He also enjoys spending time with his girlfriend Gina(when she is not busy hanging out with Paul or Mikey).
Taking dance lessons to improve footwork in the post. Admirable, but please stop.
YOU BREAK MY RECORD I BREAK YOU.
Dont do it Lenny.
Recap:
-STRONG LIKE A BULL. MUSCLES LIKE WOAH! BIG ONES!
-Makes up for bad footwork and finess around basket with increased effort
-Fierce on the court, gentle off it
-Built to play sports, not read books
-Still learning how to play basketball, but improving.
Best Ways to Defend:
1. Post flyers for fake free lunches. A true sucker for eating.
2. Flirt with Gina during games in order to incite him into Incredible Hulk mode.
And if all else fails…
3. Import Danny Lee back from Korea. Kevin will be unable to resist and end up attacking him physically. Document the attack carefully and submit to league office and ask for suspension. rinse and repeat.
Interesting Fact: Kevin can crush a soda can between his pecs.
The Gazelle March 27, 2009
Posted by hansbbans in Uncategorized.Tags: basketball, mark ro, rwc
5 comments
Mark Ro #1 SF/PF University of Illinois
Star comparisons: Corey Brewer, Tayshaun Prince,Andrei Kirilenko. , David Robinson(character/community service), Angelina Jolie(lips), Wilt Chamberlain(with the ladies..haha i keed)
There is a mythical basketball player. Andre Bargnani calls him la gazzella. Pau Gasol and Jose Calderon call him la gacela. Yao Ming calls him deng ling. When he tragically ended Ha Seung Jin’s career by tearing both of his knees up on a killer cross, Jin cried out “young yang”. But to the ballers of PS 111, he is simply known as the gazelle. He is slender and quick and moves with a grace that is unparalleled. He is Mark(us) Ro.
The Sports Guy once wrote that the first time he saw David Robinson he knew he was born to play basketball, with his bulging biceps and unparalleled athleticism. The first time I saw Mark Ro, I said to myself: “My goodness, he is born to play (asian church) basketball. “ We proceeded to then talk about Illinois basketball for four weeks in a row because we are doods who didnt know each other, so we did what guys do. Mark is a superior (asian) athlete. Tall, quick and nimble, he posses an ideal (asian) basketball player body. His greatest assests are his height and his long arms, which he uses to be a plus defender in the likes of a corey brewer or an ak 47. On offense, the gazelle uses his nimble body to make excellent cuts to the basket. However, his skinny frame does not do well inside the key at ps111, where a basketball concept called “fouling” does not seem to exist.
While the gazelle’s body is a blessing to his basketball game, it has also a tragic flaw. Due to his incredibly large and lucious lips, Mark’s body can not intake normal amounts of oxygen that other players can. As a result, he is often winded after one game. Mark also suffered from the same chornic injury as Andy5 known as a “finance job”, but rumors have it that he has shaken that bug and the gazelle will be free to wreck terror on the courts of PS 111. Off the court, Mark has won RWC Man of the year 4 years in a row(a la david robinson) for his community service work. He is a quality teammate who would offer encouragement, but he is often so winded that he can not speak during games.
he's faster on his hands than you are on your feet.
no challenge for a gazelle
Rejecting formal basketball training, Mark instead prefers to train for the KUMITAE
Helping orpahns. Yawn, what else is new?
Recap:
Strengths: tall with long arms which he uses to play good D. makes good cuts to the basket. Solid citizen off the court in the mold of a David Robinson.
Weaknesses: no stamina. irrational love for Houston Rockets, especially Tracy McGrady. usually diverts primary energy into non basketball activites like eating lunch his small group. BASURA!
Best ways to defend: Ask SG members to divert him to lunch. Run around in circles in order to tire him out. If all else fails, ask him to go to borders to read. He will not be able to resist.
the (rwc) sports guy March 26, 2009
Posted by hansbbans in Uncategorized.Tags: andy oh, rwc, sports
7 comments
so partly inspired by the detailing of qiao of gcc ball as well as my desire to become the next sports guy, ive decided to start blogging abt sports as well. since the actual sports guy(bill simmons) does a great job with the actual nba, i’ll delve into the league that im most in tune with: rwc sunday basketball. no worries fans, i’m sure espn will find this blog within a matter of days and we’ll be on ESPN no time. Erin Andrews patrolling the sidelines of ps 111. i can see it coming ooooh yeah. so for our inagural post, i’ll write up a nice scouting report:
Andy Oh #5 PG, University of Pennsylvania
NBA Comparison: Steve Nash, Baron Davis(due to large posterior and calves), Brevin Knight
Andy5 burst on the Remnant basketball scene while he was still at GCC when he came to play in the missions tournament, and he has remained a fixture ever since. He is probably remnant’s only true point guard, often passing up open jumpers to set up his teammates, who then proceed to miss. In fact, the best way to defend the Andy is to leave his teammates open as he can not resist the assist. Andy does have a reliable jumper that he shows during crunch time, but experts(jooheon) on the sidelines often wonder why he doesnt shoot more.
While Andy should have a long and prosperous career in RWC ball there are some worrisome roadblocks that he will have to overcome. His passion for music has often caused conflicts with his basketball pursuits, as he is often seen moving praise equipment during the first game. Even more worrisome is he is often injured for long stretches of time with a mysterious injury called investment banking. Only time can tell if this young superstar can overcome this injury and reach his potential at PS 111.
Does Andy have too many interests off the court?
Can he overcome this reoccuring injury???
Recap:
Strengths: True passion for the game, classic point guard with pass first mentality. Calves and buttocks are enormous. Excellent footwork.
Weaknesses: Unselfish to a fault, passing up open jumpers to set up less competent teammates. Tries to pick and roll with ppl who dont know how to roll. Can not shake injury bug.
Best ways to defend: Send fake emails from employer in hopes that he’ll e injured again. Leave other players open and hope he passes to them.
Just like his idol Steve Nash, working on his footwork via el futbol
MADNESS!!!! March 20, 2009
Posted by hansbbans in Uncategorized.13 comments
sup everyone
thanks for the responses, especially cody who is clealry not afraid to be honest. LOL. personally, id rather have a 6/10 with 100% compatability because i value feeling comfortalbe a lot in relationships. I asked because I thikn guys are all about maximization/efficiency so woudl learn more towards taking a ten even if it wasn’t the best fit were girls tend to be more relational and would want the compatability. definitely intersting to see what people said.
anyway, what’s really consuming my interset now is MARCH MADNESS! holler, the best sporting event of the year. but inevitably, every year, i get a case of some school envy since I know my almamater is athetlically challenged and i’ll never see them do anything in the tourney. So this led me to think of other schools i would have liked to have gone to. and without further ado:
3. UCLA – great basketball, ok football. LA has good weather and best cheap eats. Also has the coveted kogi taco truck. Negatives are having to drive everywhere and slow pace of cali life.
2. Michigan – it’s great to be a michigan wolverine. great football, ok basketball but its back on the rise with the 1-3-1 in place. Also, everyone I know from the state of Michigan i really like. i dunno why, but the people there are just super pleasant. negative is that it is freakin cold.
1. UT Austin – Hook em Horns!Sick football, pretty good basketball. Austin is supposed to be a great city and has great indie music. It’s also the bbq center of the world. I think its warm there, but not sure. Everyone i know who’s been to austin loves it.
so what schools do you wish you could have went to????
Back At it March 17, 2009
Posted by hansbbans in Uncategorized.13 comments
okay friends
gonna try to start blogging again. itll be a mix of questions, blog entries, things i wanna write about and things other ppl want some insights on. anyway hopefully it’ll be mildly entertaining for everyone bored in front of a computer.
anyway, this question came to fruition via dinner with funko and terri as well as doing some fantasy baseball drafts:
lets say you have to marry a 6 out of 10 who you are 100% compatible with or a 10 out of 10 that you are only 60% compatible with. which do you choose and why?
edit: Both people will have the same character. (terri, please repost if you so desire).
some faqs:
1. these ratings will not change. the out of ten rating comprises looks, smarts, personality and sense of humor.
2. the amount of money you guys make will be the same. so the 10/10 and the 6/10 will be equally succesful in life
3. even though you are 100% compatible wiht this person, it doesnt make them a ten to you. theyre still a six to you, but you guys just “get” each other. perhaps not the most reasonable idea, but thats why its hypothetical.
